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Here is the question of the day.
Why is it, when one thing in my life is not going well, everything else seems to fall by the wayside? I don’t want to do anything productive. I have all these great goals but, I don’t have the energy or wherewithal to do them.
It isn’t just the current problem, this happens to me all the time. I guess I am only able to focus on one thing…the problem, when a crisis comes up. Everything else will just have to wait. Is this the norm? Do others handle crises differently?
I sometimes think I might be using the crisis to avoid doing the things that need getting done. I am an average procrastinator by nature, but have improved over the course of my life. I have found that if I do something right away, then it is more apt to get done than if I put it off and heap it on the ‘to do’ pile
Sometimes it truly is a matter of energy. The current problem is our little Charlotte; she needs more attention with her new medical condition than she has needed in the past. So I am worn out by the end of the day, with work and taking care of her and the house and my husband…you get the picture.
I think if I were to try to compartmentalize my life a little better maybe I could change this behavior. Only allow so many hours of the day to be taken up by the crisis of the moment, then for the rest of the day, I need to go about my life as normally as possible. Is that even doable? Doesn’t sound like it to me, but I know some people have pulled it off. I am going to try it for a week. Notice I say try…I hear Yoda in the back of my brain saying…”there is no try, only do!”
Well that’s what has been rambling around my head the past week or so. I am a thinker if you haven’t figured that out already. Way too much thinking. On the up-side a thinker is usually a problem solver and that is me too.
Switching gears here…Thursday is usually my Sur*vivor night, but alas Sur*vivor is no more…at least until the fall. Not happy with the outcome of this Sur*vivor. So I am going out to dinner with some friends tonight. Hubby is staying home.
EOM
Charlotte is on steroids, which has several very unpleasant side effects of its own. Poor thing has her muscles wasting and drinks and pees a lot more than normal. She is tired all the time and I am sure wonders what happened to her. For the umpteenth time I wish dogs could understand humans and vice versa. We are finished with one month of steroids at full-strength and are into our 2nd week of a reduced dose of the steroids. She also has developed a urinary track infection. More peeing.
In addition to all that has happened with Charlotte my mom is in the hospital. She went in for a procedure on her heart a month ago and has had continuing problems since. She has a pace maker, which they have had to replace and she has fluid in her lungs and a staff infection. They can’t seem to tell us why exactly she has the fluid, they drained it once and it came back. If her body doesn’t take care of it on its own they will need to put in a chest tube to drain the fluid. My mom is 76 years old. She is in relatively good health otherwise.
I have a planned trip to see her at the end of the month, but now I am debating whether or not to move that up. It is such a difficult decision given that my little Charlotte is also sick. If anything would happen to her while I was gone, I don’t know what I would do. On the other hand I worry about something worse happening to my mom and that would also put me over the edge.
It has been a very difficult time, trying to take care of Charlotte, the house, working AND worrying about my mom. I keep waiting for life to get easier…I don’t see that happening.
We lost our first dog and my father five years ago around this time. I am seeing some scary, strange parallels to that situation now. It was a very dark time in my life…please Lord don’t make me go through that again.
